Embracing Mental Health

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I have a restless mind…
I have trouble sleeping…
I have trouble staying asleep…
Sometimes I would wake up with my heart pounding…

What’s wrong?
What’s on my mind?
Why do some memories stay in my head that I just can’t get rid of?
Am I fucked up?

As I mentioned in my last article (www.omarromero.com/habits), 2019 was a year of growth, learning, and balance. Today I want to talk about a topic that is not only personal but difficult at times to communicate. The learning part of 2019 is not always pretty but that’s life.

With all of the positive momentum that’s come this year has also brought additional pressure and expectations. These are generally from within as I genuinely care for the projects I’m involved in. While caring is a good thing, it’s also brought me a world of anxiety that’s impacted my daily life. I used to wake up at 2:00 am with my mind racing of things I need to get done. I remember once waking at 11:30 pm and just laying there for hours before falling back asleep.

Along with anxiety, I have also become mindful of my dreams and started to record them in my journal. Each morning, I’ll grab my water and write what I remember from the night before. Regardless if it’s positive or a nightmare, I get it down on paper. I do this because I want the data of what’s going on in my head. Where this comes to play is when I find consistencies. In September, I found myself in the same nightmare playing itself on repeat. I would wake up with my heart pounding. There was one day where a song triggered me and I sat in my apartment and cried alone. Something needed to change…

Therapy has been one of the most impactful parts of my life and mental health. It taught me to embrace how I truly feel versus numbing with alcohol which was a norm for me in the past. It provides me a safe space to discuss deep topics that range from personal struggles, relationships, work, or my dreams.

When I find myself having consistent dreams I know I need to address it. I go in for my normal appointment and open my journal right up. I bring up the topic of consistent dreams and we talk about. One of the hardest parts of this is embracing the root cause.

Anthony would say something to the effect of “Let’s talk about why you think this is happening.”

We then jump into past mistakes or difficult experiences that I haven’t come to peace with. We talk about the situations in depth but we don’t pursue fixing them. For me, therapy isn’t the solution to fixing a problem or coming to a definitive answer but to provide an unbiased opinion/framework.

“I’m having these dreams…”
“Why do you think these are happening…”
“I believe they’re happening because X, Y, and Z…”
“Let’s talk about X, Y, and Z.”

I’m not an expert in this field nor stating that this will work for you. For me, Journaling my dreams has helped me with dealing with anxiety or embracing my deepest feelings. It helps getting my thoughts on to paper so when I do get the time to talk with a professional, we have it in front of us to speak openly. The data is on paper so I don’t have to rely on my memory. My hope is that if someone is dealing with a similar issue that he/she could try and see if it works for them.

Mental health is a real thing.

-Omar

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